And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Monday, August 17, 2009

Lost and Now Found

Before I was medicated for all my depression and anxiety issues, I spent a lot of time writing in journals, meditating, and writing positive affirmations. Like hours every day. Ask Mr. Barefoot; it was truly ridiculous how much time I spent trying to keep my pain from overwhelming my entire life.
Once I discovered the miracles of meds, and had spent several thousand $$ in therapy to learn 'coping skills', the meditation and such kind of fell by the wayside. Life got busy, and I didn't feel like every day was the end of the world. The time I spent listening to Silence and focusing inward seemed like self-indulgence that I could ill afford.
Recently, however, I ran across something from my past that reminded me of that time. So I sat with intention for just a few minutes. Oh, I was horribly out of practice! The serene state of mind that I used to be able to induce with nothing more than a lighting of a candle and some incense was maddeningly elusive. Still, listening to my own breath was soothing. So the next day I did it again, this time for a little longer.
Soon I was in a frenzy, unpacking long neglected (but not forgotten) texts, unearthing my boxes of candles and journals, re-reading the words that literally kept me alive for so many years.
It was a head-smacking revelation. Truly. Already, after only a week or so of returning to some of my old practices, I am feeling a change in myself. Giving myself that time to rest and rejuvenate makes it so much easier for me to be productive and happy during the rest of my time. I am rediscovering optimism and confidence in myself. Pastimes I thought I had lost or outgrown are suddenly interesting to me again.
I was a doofus for forgetting, but I am committed to not forgetting again. It is amazing that such a simple thing can make such a huge and complex difference on your outlook.


Lisa said...

So glad you have found something to help you rejuvenate yourself and bring peace to your life!

Leaves more cheesecake for me!!! Hee Hee

Fr. Peter Doodes said...

We live in a rushing hectic world and it is so difficult not to be caught up in the 'must conform' world we live in.

So often the answers we need are actually within ourselves. We are obese with wealth and yet starved in the spirit in a society that never seems to stop to smell the roses.

Good to read that word "happy" again Barefoot.


Leon Basin said...

Hope everything works out.