And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ~ Kahlil Gibran



Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The Meds Must Be Working

I have been feeling unusually chipper just lately. Must be the drugs, huh? I have been sitting here for the last little while getting caught up on all your lives and watching Little Sprout out of the corner of my eye. She has discovered the joys of the On/Off switch on her toys. Oh, fun! She sits and just turns everything on and then off for the fun of knowing that she can do it ALL BY HERSELF.

I can tell already that those words are going to become very important here at Barefoot Manor very soon.

The funny thing is that I am not irritated by the sound. I am not frustrated by her constant chatter. I am not in desperate need of escape.

Is it her? Is it me?

I don't care, I like it.

Poor Big Sprout hasn't been enjoying my new mellowness so much. She has reached the age where she has other things to think about than spending time with Mommy. Oh, she still likes to spend time with me, she hasn't aged so much that I have become stupid or embarrassing. She just likes to hang out in her room and read or play video games rather than talk my ear off constantly.

I kinda miss it.

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I don't know if anyone noticed that I did not jump on the "New Year's Resolution" bandwagon. There is a reason for that. My resolution was to not have any this year. I have decided that doing the best I can with every day is enough of a resolution for me.

Oh, I have GOALS. Lots of 'em. I wanna be skinny by swim suit season, I wanna be debt free, I wanna lower my environmental impact. But making resolutions just seems to be so intense. And just doing my best every day should be good enough for anyone, right?

Right.

I have been making some changes in the way I am doing things here at Barefoot Manor. I am a major control freak, but rather than trying to let go of that I am embracing it. Seriously.

Sounds nuts, huh?

See, the thing is that with my depression/anxiety/lack of any kind of routine from day to day I have a tendency to get overwhelmed. Then I go a little crazy.

It is not pretty. Ask Mr. Barefoot.

Anyway, I am working on keeping focused by having the things I am working on listed where I will be able to see it all the time. Then, when I have spare time (I actually have a lot of it, when I think about it) I can just pick an item off the list and get it done. I am hoping to minimize the time I spend looking at all the things that I want to accomplish and not knowing where to start. I am also hoping that this will keep me from forgetting things and then having to rush to finish them.

So, that is my life right now.

Riveting, isn't it?

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