And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ~ Kahlil Gibran



Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Barbaric Warlords Beware

I have discovered a new sort of torture that puts thumb screws and all that stuff to shame. The trick is to make the person torture themselves.

What I mean is, if you want to wear someone down let them have children.

Seriously. What could be worse torture than being exhausted to the point of feeling ill, laying your child down for a nap and racing (well....shuffling maybe) off to your own freshly made bed with crisp clean sheets and a comfy warm blanket only to hear the beginnings of a full blown tantrum from the child's bedroom? If you weren't a parent, you could be sleeping. If it was someone elses kid you would only have to stay awake long enough to call the parents and warn them that they had to pick up their kid ASAP or it would end up chained up in the backyard. But no. It is your kid, so you have to get up and do whatever it takes to make the kid happy. Food? yeah, sure. Diaper change? got it. Snuggle time and a story? Whatever. The worst part is that you did this to yourself and you love the very creature causing all this discomfort. Talk about torture.

I am in awe of folks who enjoy this whole parenting thing. I mean, I love my Sprouts. I just don't love being a jungle gym/ punching bag/ snot rag/ janitor/ zoo keeper.

I can't wait for GrandSprouts. Those I can play with and then send home.

Oh, and Big Sprout, if you are reading this...you still can't even think about boys till you are at least 30. Don't go getting any ideas.

7 comments:

Finding Pam... said...

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your kids are at the best stage of your life. You are thinking this can't be? Trust me on this. We were nice people before we had teenagers, so enjoy them now....hahahaha

e4 said...

The people who say having kids is soooo rewarding are just trying to trick others. Either that or they have a nanny and only spend an hour a day with them.

I've thought of trying to trick my friends with this... "You two have GOT to have kids. Every day is a joy, and it's worth every moment." But then I realized that all my friends already have kids and they'd slap me silly if I said that kind of nonsense. :)

barefoot gardener said...

Pam-
I have been through the teenager thing twice now with the stepkids. I can tell you that the most enjoyable time with your kids is AFTER THEY MOVE OUT! Heh.

e4-
I think you are right. The worst part is that I did it to myself....I had already been through all this crud with 2 teens and Big Sprout and I STILL somehow managed to forget about all the bad stuff....

Oh, and I have to admit I have given that "kids are so rewarding" speech to a friend or two that were thinking about having kids. I can't wait till they figure out that I was playing an evil joke on them! ;)

CatHerder said...

HEE HEE HEE...enjoy it while you can...wait till they have the car keys and your credit card numbers lol!!!!Every so often we sit down and watch the movies of them together, when they were little....oh how i miss those days!...but not enough to have grandchildren yet lol.

Lisa said...

Sweetie, I think a big part of your problem is your work schedule and the emotional drain it puts on you. Perhaps you burn out at work (with the clients, co-workers, and lack of regular sleep) and only have the "left-over" energy to deal with the kids.

Oh, and a serious deficiency of cheesecake!!

barefoot gardener said...

Catherder-
Nice to hear from you! I hate thinking about how quick kids grow up, it seems like we are always wishing they would grow up a little faster and then regretting it when they do....

Lisa-
I know you are right. I go through periods where I frantically try to figure out a way for me to have a more normal life, but I can't figure out how to make it work without running into trouble with medical insurance and daycare. So, like hubby says, it will only be another 5 years or so before things settle down....

Kati said...

*snort & chuckle* AMEN SISTA! There are a great many days lately where I'm sitting at the table over school work, counting down the days till the kiddo turns 19 (because she'll have HOPEFULLY graduated HS by that time, though the same couldn't be said if I was waiting for 18).