So I was sitting here, getting caught up on everything going on in all your lives, when I had a thought. See, Mr. Barefoot installed one of those massaging shower heads when we moved into Barefoot Manor.
Ah, ha! I thought. If I can hobble this 200 year old body over there to that shower, I might be able to relieve some of this pain!
So I hobbled, and I set the temperature about 5 degrees hotter than the hottest level of hell. Then I set the shower head to "peel the skin off your body". Finally, I gingerly stepped into the water.
After about 20 minutes of howling in agony, silence fell. That happens when you scream your vocal chords raw. But I stuck with it, and am pleased to say that my back muscles have been tortured into submission. I am now able to actually walk! Not that it is necessarily comfortable, considering the shooting pains with each step, but I can do it!
Now I am thinking about heading off to bed. On the other hand, Mr. Barefoot wasn't too happy about being woken up to watch me hiss and stumble around like a member of the undead. Maybe I will just sleep in my comfy chair.