Just a little food for thought; an open window into my mixed up mind.....
Depression is hard enough to live with, much less explain to someone who has never experienced it. I think of it as a morbid version of "looking at the world through rose colored glasses". Rather than rose colored, my glasses are all dirty and dark. I can see just enough to know that things SHOULD be beautiful, but I never get to actually experience it.
The Paradox comes in when the depressed person actually gets depressed because they have depression.
Tell me THAT'S not a mind-f*ck. Here you are with depression, feeling crummy all the time. Then you start thinking about your depression and how stinky it is that you miss out on so many wonderful things because you just can't find the joy in it no matter how hard you try. Next thing you know, you are all bummed out because you are depressed, making the depression worse, which when you think about it makes you feel even blue-er. Talk about vicious cycle.