And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Friday, October 05, 2007

I'm so Smart

I am trying to lose weight, just like every other female over the age of 10. But I really need it. According to the nifty neat little chart the doctor looks at, I should be losing around 65 lbs. I know from experience that this is too skinny for me. I am big boned, you know. {Actually, this one IS true in this case. I have a very large frame. Even when at my skinniest, with my bones poking out, I couldn't get below a size 10} Realistically, I figure I will be in good shape if I lose about 50 lbs, but will settle for between 40-45.

So why, you ask, am I up at midnight stuffing myself on leftover tuna hotdish instead of sleeping so that I can get up bright and early to go for a 2 mile walk? Well, that's simple...

I am up at midnight eating because I am an insomniac with no self control, that's why!

So now I am not only fat, but feeling guilty on top of it. At least my tuna hotdish isn't too terribly fattening. I do have that going for me. I don't eat terribly horrible foods. I really don't. Well, except for that soda thing....and my weakness for Chex-Mix. Oh, and then there is my love for all things Alfredo....and creamy.....and cheesy.....and starchy....

I'm screwed.

I honestly don't know if I really want to lose weight. I know that I want to fit into my clothes again. I know that I don't like getting out of breath when I am working in the garden. I know I don't like getting exhausted from what little exercise I do.

But I like food. I don't like to sweat. I think it is pointless to live in a manner that will prolong your life if by doing so you cut out all things that you enjoy in your life.

So what will I do....Be fat 'n' happy? Or healthy and energetic?

I guess we will have to see, cuz frankly I don't know.


e4 said...

The middle of this post made me laugh. :)

You might like Spark People. It looked cheesy to me at first, but it's actually pretty cool.

barefoot gardener said...

Thanks, e4. That does look pretty cool!

Deb said...

I have kind of struggled with the "should I bust my butt exercising to lose weight, or should I just accept being a size 16?" You know which side is ahead right now. :) I want to be able to cross country ski a lot this winter.

Kati said...

LOL I can't totally related (I'm a night-owl, but NOT an insomniac, I sleep well, just not long enough), but the weight part of things does compute. A tidbit I read in a book on PCOS, 20 minutes of aerobic exercise first thing in the morning (at a fasting state, IE: before you've eaten anything to "break your fast") is as effective at burning fat as 1 hour of the same exercise any other time of day. The lack of any burnable fuel in your body, EXCEPT your body-fat, forces your body TO burn that 1 source of fuel: your body-fat. So, that's what I've been doing for a couple of weeks now. 20 minutes of walking in place (swinging 2 pound weights to keep my arms moving) & some jumping jacks, as soon as I get the kiddo out the door to school, and before I eat anything. It hasn't resulted in any weight lost, yet, but my energy level on those days I DO exercise (it's been 5 days a week, pretty consistently so far) is much greater than on the days I don't exercise (like today).

*shrug* Give it a shot, maybe???? And best of luck with the other issue.