I was never a "popular" kid in school. I liked to learn, I followed the rules (for the most part), I was neither pretty nor wealthy, and I had funny ideas. I was a band geek, a drama freak, a nerd. For the most part I had gotten over it. After all, wasn't everyone's school years traumatic in some way or another?
Still, I never quite got over the fantasy that I'm sure most "uncool" kids in school have. You know the one I am talking about. Where you leave school to become a rock star/supermodel/Nobel peace prize winner/rich and famous something-or-other, and then return to your 10 year reunion to rub it in the face of all the girls who snubbed you and boys who wouldn't date you.
I suppose that is pretty normal, right?
Last week, I blew a tire. When I brought the tire in to get fixed, I realised I knew the young man behind the counter. He was the son of the owner, a guy I went to school with. While he never was one to pick on me at school, he did NOT run in the same circles as myself. He was one of the "beautiful people". Needless to say, I was mortified. Here I was: overweight, dressed in my work (read disgusting and stained) clothes, un-showered (I went straight from work), no makeup, with my car that has over 244,000 miles on it and a tire that blew because I drove it to oblivion. That fantasy that had lived in the back of my mind was blown to smithereens.
Then, as I thought about it later, I realised that I had it all wrong. I have done wonderful things since leaving school. I have found a line of work that I am good at and that I love. I am raising two fabulous little girls, and have helped with two more. I have a wonderful husband who loves me, and whom I love. I can provide a safe an loving environment for my family. I am a respectable member of society. I am doing my part to try and lower man's impact on the planet and save it for our children.
I may not have the big house or the fancy car, I may not be famous or beautiful, but I really don't want those things anymore. I want a simpler life. I want to be who I am, and even if I am not at the place in my life where I want to be, I know I am on my way. I can be proud of who I am, where I am, and what I have accomplished.
So I guess I have grown up...just a little.