Mondays....

What is it about Mondays? I work a rotating schedule, so I have every other Monday off, but I still get the blahs everytime a Monday rolls around. Maybe it's knowing that my family is back to a week at work and I won't see them for a few days, I don't know. I origionally took this job because I thought I would be able to spend more time with the family. If anything, it's the opposite. Being on an overnight schedule when everyone you know is on a day schedule is the pits. Even when I am awake I am too tired to be any fun or get anything done. Ugh.

DH went fishing yesterday, or what he calls fishing. I grew up in a family of hunters and fishermen. I remember days of not catching much, but we always caught enough for a meal or two. I have been married 2 1/2 years, and been with DH for nearly 5, and I think he has brought home fish twice. Now, I am no great fisherperson. I don't really care for sitting in the boat when I can be swimming or just playing in the water. But it seems to me that he has to be doing something wrong to not EVER bring home fish. I realise that men seem to just enjoy getting out on the lake and dangling a hook in the water. That is fine. But once in a while you would think he would catch something, even if it was by accident. I teased him this time that he should try putting the hook IN the water if he wants to catch anything. He was not amused. He has been making noise about getting a gun and going hunting with my dad and his group this year. GULP!!! First off, if he hunts as well as he fishes, buying a gun would be a waste of money. He might as well just go hang out in the stand for a few hours with a slingshot. Secondly, DH (though I love him dearly) is not the type to hunt. He hates to get dirty. Now, I am no hunter, but I have seen the results of field dressing a deer, and that is DIRTY. I suggested that perhaps he should borrow a gun from someone (avid hunters, remember, there are plenty to spare), and maybe go small game hunting with the guys first. Just to see if he wants to continue. Well, evidently that is similar to asking a man to use another man's equipment to pee. Who'da thunk? I do love venison, and I wish DH was more of the outdoorsy type. I would love it if he could provide most of our meat needs with hunting, but somehow I just don't see it happening.

Oof, I sound negative. Time to stop.

I haven't been over to the veggie patch in a week, and I am afraid of what I will find tomorrow when I get there. I know the radishes need thinning desperately, and the weeds are probably insane. What is it about weeds that they grow so much faster than the things you WANT to grow? I have been getting terribly jealous of those who live in warmer climates than I. Fresh veggies already. My grandpa used to say he never understood why my folks wanted to live up here at the "north pole". I like it, but without a greenhouse, the growing season is so short. I have thought about moving farther south, but the thought of moving so far from my family just doesn't sit right. So I spend a lot of my time researching cold frame usage and greenhouses as well as the possibility of my in-house garden. I seem to be the pioneer in my family as far as this kind of garden goes. My grandparents always had a huge garden, but they were the type of gardeners who throw everything in in the spring time (in HUGE amounts), and then spent the rest of the season running like crazy to try and keep up with the produce. I remember Grandma ready to choke Grandpa because she would think she had finally canned the last of whatever for the season and here would come Grandpa with another basket full. I am hoping for a more spread out harvest. I like the idea of just planting small amounts of each veggie at a time and staggering the yield. Of course, this takes much more thinking. And planning. But if I start with all the planning now, I should be able to have a handle on it by next year. HEHE.

DH and I had the strangest conversation the other day. We were with my parents, and I was discussing with dear dad my thoughts on "someday, when I win a million dollars and can live on my own place and not have to work for a living" having some goats for milk, cheese, meat, etc. Not a lot, just a few. So we were discussing the different kinds of goats I have looked at, their production, if I thought the kids would drink goat milk, etc. DH was listening in the particular way he does when he thinks I am a little off my rocker, and suddenly he interrupts with...."How come you can have goats, but I can't have a cow?" I was stunned. Shocked. My loving DH, who recoils every time I say anything about wanting to live away from the consumerism of city life and be a little more self-sufficient, wanted a cow. I vaguely remember when we were living in our first home together (an adorable farm out in the country), he HAD wanted to buy a cow. And I was the one to veto. At the time I didn't think it was a good idea, and I still think a cow is probably impractical to start with. I am thinking small scale, after all. But it got me to thinking. How did we end up switching places? I know I have always wanted to live off grid, in the woods, living off the land, etc. Most of that was romantic fantasies of childhood, and I am now in the process of deciding what really would work for me. But when we first got together, HE was the one willing to take the plunge into livestock, and I stopped him. Curious. It gives me hope. I mean, really. I already know he would like to live in the country. It nearly killed him to move to an apt from the farm. He likes the quiet. Once I get him into a small place, I just might be able to make small changes here and there without him raising a stink. Before you know it, I will have him totally converted! HA HA HA HA! I will rule the universe with my tricky ways! Ok, not really. He isn't that gullible. But he may be more willing to make changes than I had origionally thought.

I know it's too early to be making big plans on how and where I want to live, because right now the focus has to be on climbing out of the financial hole we have dug for ourselves. But it gives me a goal. A vision to strive for. Motivation. I suppose it is sad that I fantasize about composting toilets and solar showers. Not too many of my friends think that these things would be much fun. But really, wouldn't it? Knowing that what you are doing in your day to day life is part of the solution, rather than the problem? Knowing that no matter if the rest of the world goes to hell in a hand-basket, you will have food, shelter, and warmth? Knowing that rather than fighting the rhythms of nature you are in harmony with them?