And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
I have made no secret of the fact that my job is a pain in my butt. I don't like my boss. I don't like the actual job duties. I don't even really like the clients I work with. They are too young for me. I prefer senior citizens. (not that I don't like my guys, it's just a preference thing. Some folks like working with kids, some adults, some seniors. Some of us prefer high physical care, some of us prefer to put more effort into the behavioral side of things.)
Two times a week, I end up staying awake 30 hours plus. It's not necessarily the job's fault, it's just the way things work out. Obviously, this is a terribly unhealthy way to live. I have been doing it for almost 7 years, and I can feel myself getting stupider and stupider every day. See? Stupider isn't even a word, but I'm gonna use it to prove how stupid the lack of sleep is really making me. (well, spellcheck says stupider is a word. How 'bout that?)
Pretty much, I get nothing out of my job except a paycheck.
I know that if I were to be able to have some kind of routine in my life, and get sleep every night instead of 3-4 nights out of a week, I would be much healthier. I would feel smarter. I would be more efficient. I would be able to establish routines in other parts of my life, and those routines would benefit everyone in my family.
I was offered a job today. Full time work, regular sleep hours, and much easier work than I do now. The pay is about the same.
Sounds like heaven, right?
The problem is, it's a job working with Teacher full time. I would be self-employed, for all intents and purposes. This means a loss of vacation time, sick time, benefits, retirement, etc. And I would have to put Little Sprout in Daycare two days a week, meaning more of my wage would be lost in paying that. And there is no job security. Teacher is 100 years old, and so my time working with her is limited. Very limited.
It would work, but $$ would be tight. Mr. Barefoot and I have struggled with finances all our adult lives, and just now are getting to a point where we can sock a little bit away out of every check. Only in the last few months have we had any financial breathing room, and we are both loving it.
So what do I do? On the one hand, the job I have now is secure. It pays the bills, with a little left over. It is also killing me. On the other hand, I could have a position that meets all my needs as far as health is concerned (as well as being a whole bunch of fun), but would put the family back into a place where the tiniest unexpected expense could put us in financial trouble.
Sometimes, being a grown-up sucks.