Mr. Barefoot let me sleep until 3pm today. I appreciate it, but it just kind of rubbed my nose in the fact that I have been getting down a lot lately.
I have realised that life will not all be roses once we purchase our house. It's funny how quickly unrealistic expectations can be placed on a dream. I had been focusing so much on all the wonderful things that go with being a homeowner, and forgot all about the fact that I will still have to work like crazy to get it paid off and do the maintenance and all that good stuff.
I am still really excited about it, but have just been thinking of it in a slightly more realistic way. I have just been sad to realise that life will not be 'perfect'.
Yesterday was especially hard. I went to work at job#2. The woman I care for is dying, and it is breaking my heart. She is in her late 90s, and she is just giving up.
For her sake, I am glad that she has decided that she is done with this life. She is no longer able to do the teaching and volunteering in the community that once gave her so much joy, and her family has either passed on or moved far away. I know that for the last few years she has been struggling with feeling "useless", and though we have all tried to help her keep her sense of being needed it has not been enough. I know that, no matter what awaits us after death, she will be more comfortable once she is gone. There will be no more aching body parts, no more forgetting where she is or who we are, no more feeling lost and worthless. I know that it is her time.
But for my sake, I wish she could live for ever. I have never met a woman I liked more. She is gracious and giving, smart and strong. She has always been the kind of woman I aspire to be. I am proud that she has counted me among her friends for the last 9 years, and have tried to learn as much as I can from her. I will miss her terribly when she is gone. It is very hard to see her turning away from life when I am not ready to let her go.
So anyway, there just doesn't seem to be much to say. We are 8 days from closing on our new home, the Sprouts are enjoying their summer break, and I am still working every day. Really, things are pretty darn boring around here.