And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ~ Kahlil Gibran



Sunday, April 13, 2008

Making The Effort

I definitely give myself a B+ for effort, but somehow my Grand Master Plan isn't working the way I had hoped. The Plan clearly states that I am to work like mad while building skills in the canning/cooking from scratch/self-sufficiency area and learning to live on just Mr. Barefoot's income. It just keeps falling apart on me, though. I can't seem to keep all the balls in the air at once.

Dangit!!!

I keep hoping that somehow, if I keep trying really hard, it will eventually fall into place for me. The thought has occurred to me, though, that I might be doing something wrong. I feel like that fly that keeps bouncing off the closed window in an attempt to get outside, totally oblivious to the open door not two feet away.

What am I doing wrong? Is it that I am taking on too much at once? I don't get it. Really, how hard can it be to learn to live on one income, be totally frugal, cook meals from scratch, keep a clean house, manage the family finances, raise two Sprouts, and work one full time and two part time jobs? I am sure there are plenty of women who can do it.

I sometimes watch Jon and Kate + 8 at work. Talk about crazy! Kate is raising two 6 yr olds and 6 two year olds, and still manages to buy local AND organic AND keep a totally immaculate house. Talk about something guaranteed to give me an inferiority complex!

I just can't see how I am messing up. Well, that isn't true. I know that I could spend less time here with you all. I could spend my time at home doing more housework. I could ask the family for more help in watching the Sprouts so that I could get quality sleep and therefor be more productive when I am awake.

Hmmm....

I just wish it wasn't so much work to get where I want to go, I guess.....

5 comments:

Lisa said...

Slow and steady wins the race, Turtle! Yes, you are trying to do too much all at once. Life is like that. But you are making steps in the direction you want to go, they are just smaller than you wish they were!

Jon and Kate + 8 is a fun show, but she doesn't work outside the home. It wouldn't be fair to try to compare your life to hers. (Plus, I just bet that someone else cleans it up "for television." Nobody wants to see how it must really look!)

You are doing just fine!!

Catty Ax Lady said...

I watch Jon & Kate plus 8 just to make my life seem normal and quiet when things asre getting out of hand here, lol! You have to remember, young grasshopper, that she has two nannies helping her out with a lot of stuff, and she's completely OCD, lol. That always helps.

Lisa's right...you're taking steps in the right direction, which is more than I can say for myself. Working that many jobs is enough to make anyone crazy and tired, let alone trying to raise good sprouts, clean house, finances...I can't even remember all the things you listed, let alone keep all those balls flying!

I'm missing something, I'm sure...but why are you learning to live on one income if you're working 3 jobs? You're going to make yourself nuts, woman!!

Wendy said...

And the other part of the Jon and Kate story is that they aren't living on one income - they're getting paid to be on that show. You know? So, even though Kate doesn't "work outside the home", she's still got a nice little income to add to the family cashbox. I don't think she's a very realistic role model.

I also kind of think that the only way to really live on one income is to have only one income. If you and your husband are both working, it's really hard to not give into buying those convenience things that make your life as a working mom easier. It's just too easy to say yes when you're tired or pressed for time. It's like working in a bakery and trying to stay on the low-carb diet. There are days when you'll just say, to heck with it all, and eat a couple of loaves of bread, because it's there and you can. The only way to stay on a diet is to change your attitude about what you're eating, not just change what you're eating, and it's the same with money. If you can change the way you feel about money, you can change how much of it you really need to live the life you want.

Please check out Dolly Freed's Possum Living. It's available online. Just google. It changed my life to realize that one doesn't have to have money to have a good life (and she didn't have much money and seemed to live quite happily). Very much worth the read.

barefoot gardener said...

Lisa-
Thanks for the encouragement. I do hate babysteps...I am too much a product of an instat gratification society, I guess.

Cat-
I know it sounds stupid, but I am working so that I don't have to work. We are pretty deep in debt, due to some pretty hefty medical bills. Once we are out from under all that and have a "cushion" for unexpected stuff, I hope to just find something I like to do as a part time gig.

Wendy-
Oh, I know that I shouldn't compare myself to Kate...it's just hard not to look at her crazy life and figure that I should be able to do at least that well.

What do you think, could I convince TLC to do a show about my little family? I figure my Sprouts have got to be as photogenic as the sextuplets, even if there are only two of them....

And thanks for the reference. I will have to check that out. I see what you mean about needing to not have the money in order to not spend it. I will have to think about that one for a bit....

Gina said...

You've been helping me through a similar rough patch and I hope i can do the same for you. I believe you are on the right track: you've been doing the research through your reading and thinking and you are walking in the right direction. Right now everything is rocky and hilly and there are many of us walking right beside you on this rough path. I do the same when I read some of the blogs where it seems everything falls perfectly the way I want my own life to be (for example, I remember reading Farmgirl Fare with envy because she started so young and seemed to achieve mountains next to my mole hills and then she lost her brother to suicide and she spoke of his alcoholism and I realized that some blogs and reality shows have a darker side that is kept hidden from those of us wondering why it seems so much harder to reach our goals. I still need reminders every once and awhile when things are particularly rough).

I am really blabbing now, but I want you to hang in there. Things will bounce around to easy before you know it and some new challenge will look you squarely in the eyes and seem impossible. The challenges are seemingly neverending, especially considering these necessary life style changes are happening so quickly and we never go the proper training in the first place. The only analogy I can think of goes back to the Baby Steps one: What if you were pushed around in a stroller for most of your life, no need for walking and then suddenly the stroller broke and you realized, "Hey, I can walk..." Those first few steps would be painfully frustrating! Yet, you are walking while many chose to sit crying in their broken buggies.